TRAUMA & CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

Perhaps you've spent years telling yourself:​

• It wasn't that bad

• Other people had it worse

• It happend years ago. I should be over it

 

And yet something about the past still seems to be affecting the present.

What Can Trauma Look Like?​

You may notice:

• anxiety or constantly feeling alert

• difficulties trusting

• fear of rejection or abandonment

• feeling emotionally disconnected

• powerful emotional reactions

• people-pleasing

• difficulty setting boundaries

• perfectionism

• anger

• shame

• a harsh inner critic

• difficulties with intimacy

• repeating relationship patterns

• feeling you always have to be strong

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These responses can feel particularly confusing when your life today appears relatively safe.
Understanding their history may help them make more sense.
Why Does This Make Sense?
The child who learnt to keep everyone happy may become the adult who struggles to say no.
The child who couldn't rely on other people may become fiercely independent.
The child who experienced criticism may strive for perfection.
The child who learnt that showing emotion wasn't safe may find vulnerability very difficult as an adult.
These responses aren't necessarily character flaws.

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They may once have been ways of adapting or protecting yourself.
Therapy gives us an opportunity to understand those adaptations and consider whether they are still serving you.

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Childhood & Relational Trauma
Sometimes the impact comes from what happened.
Sometimes it comes from what didn't happen.
Perhaps there wasn't enough consistency, emotional warmth, protection or reassurance.
You may have had to become independent very young, care for others or manage the emotions of adults around you.
Therapy isn't about blaming your past for everything happening today.
It's about understanding how your experiences may have shaped you.

Trauma, Relationships & Shame
Difficult experiences can influence what we expect from relationships.
You might desperately want connection but find trust frightening.
You may fear abandonment or withdraw when someone gets emotionally close.
Trauma can also leave people carrying shame that was never theirs to carry.

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Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma therapy shouldn't mean being forced to tell your story before you're ready.
My approach is based on collaboration, emotional safety and respect for your pace.
Sometimes we may explore the past.
At other times, our focus may be your life now, including your emotions, relationships, boundaries or ways of coping.
You don't need to decide whether what happened was "bad enough".
If something from your past continues to affect your present, we can begin there.

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